A pleasant visit

For the first time since my aging grandfather's recent fall, I was able to visit both he and my nana in their new senior-living apartment.  The aforementioned fall made it necessary for the two of them, my dad's folks, to move from their two-story suburban home, with a very steep driveway, to a more suitable (safe) environment.  Their new place is a one-bedroom apartment, with a small porch on the third floor within a larger community.

Over the past several years there has been much talk, instigated mostly out of my dad's concern for my grandparents, about a move to a safer location.  These conversations met resistance and fear.  It was our hope that a move could be done to avoid such a fall. However, this was not the case.  And the move became a must, rather than a choice, sadly.  Over the weeks following his fall, together with my nana, the two had to find a new place to call home.  My grandfather would probably never go back to his old house, as his body would not handle the strain of stairs.  I was saddened, but understanding of the new reality.

For all of my 28 years, I have known four grandparents, a rarity today. The gift of my grandparents is not lost on me.  I maintain contact with both sides.  My mom's parents, in Dallas, have adapted to technology, so an email and even facebook message keeps us easily informed.  On the other side,  answering machines still perplex my dad's folks.  The running joke has been whether Nana has checked her email recently, or more time relevant, tweeted?  But distance has never kept us too far apart.

Luckily for me though, my dad's parents live in St. Louis, an easy drive from KC.  I find myself visiting several times a year, especially around holidays.  A trip to Nana and Grandpa's is customary.  Before the move, my grandparents lived in their house for as long as I remember.  Prior to yesterday, it was the only home I ever associated them with.  Their old house is full of memories of birthday parties to sleepovers to root beer floats.  

While their new place is drastically different from their old house, I was pleased by what I thought was a comfortable and appropriate living unit.  It does not hold the sentimental value of their old place, but what could?  At present, my concern is for their comfort and life quality.  From what I understand the adjustment has been a tough one.  I'm not surprised.  Adjustment is not easy for anyone, much less a couple of octogenarians.

Several in my family went with me to the apartment, including my wife and boys.  It is important that my boys develop from a young age an appreciation for family.  My nana seemed to gain energy from our younger boy and by the time we were ready to leave our two-year-old was hugging her, which made me smile.  Grandpa seemed as content as ever watching the happenings from his chair, perched atop the action.  

Seeing their new place, furnished by much of their old furniture, was an adjustment for me, too.  In closing, as I'm sure I could go on, the trip was a nice one and reminded me of a two things.  One, aging is inevitable, a side-effect of a life-well lived.  And second, those memories from their old house are tied not to its physical structure, but rather to the two of them.  

Tis the season

So it's Christmas Eve, all day long.  And this is my 29th such event.  For my oldest son, now two, it is his first Christmas Eve aware of the magic of Santa and Jesus' birth.  Quite a special one for his mom and me.

Looking back over the many Christmas seasons throughout stages in my life, my anticipation, I thought, had peaked around age 12.  My family can attest that I was the earliest riser, looking at the wonderful gifts left by Santa under the tree.  In fact, often I was up early enough to go back to bed for a few hours before the rest of the crew awoke.  But, those days of high excitement passed, like many things of youth.

This season, however, has marked a new anticipation.  The anticipation of watching my own children experience the same love and comfort I felt as a child.  Snow-covered Christmas mornings fill many of my mind's happiest memories.   My wife and I are blessed to be able to offer a Christmas morning that will excite my sons, hopefully in a similar way.

But this Christmas season has been my most anticipated in recent memory, and not for the old reasons.  For the first time, we picked out and decorated a tree with our oldest.  We set up our own and looked at Christmas lights around the community.  And, we even watched Charlie Brown's Christmas special!  It's truly a fun time.

When I was younger, I remember seeing my parents and grandparents open far fewer gifts than the children.  I feared one day receiving less gifts, too.  A fear born of young eyes, as though my joy was tied to the gifts below the tree.  From today's vantage point, the adults were ears deep in gift, surrounded by their kids and kids' kids, purely joyful and overrun with love.

I'm looking forward to that gift.  Best yet, it just started snowing!

I fought the law...

With 100% honesty, I am beginning this process spurred on by the interesting content and visually pleasing pursuits of my brother-in-law, Steve.  Steve's blog recently caught my eye and reminded me of how easy it can be to publish in today's digital landscape.  So here goes...

Rather than give some sort of intro note about who I am, my guess is that most people reading this already know a bit, I'll just start with what's on my mind.  Today was an interesting day, as I had to go to Overland Park's Municipal Court to make my case against a speeding ticket.

A few months ago, I was given a ticket for speeding on my way to a work-related staff retreat.  Was I going too fast?  I'd say yes, ultimately.  However, the annoying reality of the ticket was compounded by the fact the officer claimed it took place in a school zone, increasing the fine significantly and making it illegal to reduce the violation.  I can get over a $200 ticket.  A sustained increase to my driver's insurance, I would like to avoid.

In Kansas, violators speeding through school zones are unable to negotiate or "cut deals" on their tickets.  Here in lies my case.  This particular school zone is only a "school zone" at points of the day*; typically 15 minutes before and after school lets out.  When I passed the zone, the lights were not flashing. The officer claimed they were, making a 35 mph zone a 25.  So my 38 in a 35 became a 38 in a 25.

So I took my case to court today, with myself as my legal counsel.  Part of me was hoping the officer would not show up and therefore the ticket would be thrown out.  Another part of me wanted to stand by my case, explain the incident from my view and go toe-to-toe with the prosecutor.  Well, I received the latter.  The officer was in the court and I would be given a chance to explain what proceeded and hope the judge saw enough reasonable doubt to side with me.

The actual courtroom was fairly crowded due to many cases given the same 10 am trial time.  Most defendants moved through quickly, making deals with the judge or prosecutor, allaying an actual trial.  When my name was called, I was asked to take a seat at the defense table, explained the rules of the proceeding, and asked if I had further questions.  I said, "Not at the moment, but possibly as we proceed."

The OP officer was called to "testify" to the day's events.  The prosecutor questioned him first.  It was very straightforward.  However, I had unfortunately shown my cards to the prosecutor before trial, in a last attempt to reduce the violation.  He knew my case rested on that light flashing.  I felt dumb, a little betrayed, oddly, when he asked the officer about the flashing light.  But, this is his job.   The officer responded and said he had checked the light.  Dang.

But then, it was my turn to ask the officer.  I felt very humbled and tried to convey this feeling as I questioned him.  My respect for our public servants is sincere.  I started by thanking him for his time.  I apologized if my attempts came across as a waste of anyone's time and then I proceeded.  During the prosecutor's questioning, the officer claimed the lights for the school zone, on any given day, come on around 7:43 am.  This seemed like an ambiguous time, so I felt it was my best avenue to pursue.  He also claimed during the prosecutor's portion that he was in position around 7:40 am.  So when did he verify the lights were flashing?  An obviously contradictory statement, I thought.  I finished questioning the officer.  I, too, was given the chance to tell my side, which I did.

In the end, the judge said she felt the city had done their part to prove I was guilty of the aforementioned violation.  She told me how I could proceed, if I so chose, and thanked me for my time.  The judge, prosecutor and officer were all quite pleasant throughout.  I walked out of the courtroom with the officer, and he and I both wished each other well.  I went to the clerk's office and paid the fee listed on the ticket.

Overall, the experience, while a losing one from many perspectives, was a rich one.  I lost nothing more than had I simply mailed my initial fine in, unless you consider time as punishment.  In this case, I wouldn't.  I waited a relatively short amount of time to have the trial heard.  And, I was able to experience a real aspect of our justice system, at little expense to me or the city.   Although I lost, I truly felt like I had a 50% chance of beating it.  Had I mailed it in, the chances would have been 0%.

I hope to not be in this position again.  Speeding, I generally avoid.  However, if I am in this position again, there's no reason not to state my case, using the system as it has been designed - if you feel there may be questions surrounding the circumstances.  Many people don't realize the fine on your ticket, includes a fee for a court case.  Most just choose to avoid the court case.  I just wanted my money's worth, I guess...

*I am opposed to speeding in school zones and a strong supporter of their enforcement.  They are important laws to protect the smallest within our communities.  Throughout this process my position has not changed with regards to them.