New you resolutions

I again chose not to participate in a New Year's resolution at the start of 2011.  In truth, they have never really been a practice of mine and not for lack of things worth changing or fixing.  To make resolutions is healthy human nature, of course.  It shows we are ready to grow.

It's not too late for me, though, to throw my hat in the ring and give it a try.  If I could influence one element of my life for the better, it would be in reducing moments of regret.  Regret of course is a discomfort or an unsettling one feels after their own action or inaction.  Regret often manifests itself after making a clumsy decision, or impulsively reacting.  It also waits behind, lurking for us to say no to a good opportunity met with varying levels of resistance; a missed chance, a moment of inaction.

Regret is fortunately not an unforeseen side-effect.  Rarely are people completely sideswiped by regret.  Our hearts are filled with tools to recognize moments of grace, if you would, and consolation.  These "hints" try to direct or aid each of us in the right decisions.  But even our heart's inclinations are often ignored or misdirected, choosing the immediate over the sustainable.

Opportunity: Alarm goes off.  Response: I'd rather sleep another hour than run.  

Opp: An old friend calls.  Re: I'm just too busy to talk right now.  

Opp: The opportunity arises to see an elderly loved one.  Re: We can catch up next visit.  

The situations above offer varying chances at possible regret.  Missing a morning run, I'll concede, is trivial in comparison to missing a chance at telling a loved one how you feel about them.   Regardless, the reality remains, our lives are a collection of moments, seized or otherwise.  Answering the small calls prepares us for the harder ones.

Several months ago I had an opportunity to be a faculty leader on a student retreat.  Students shared touching stories and testimonials with their peers and many expressed the pain they felt in ignoring these natural inclinations.  I've experienced enough of this pain, too, to know that regret can take its toll.  Nobody likes to look in the rearview mirror and see countless moments that could have gone better.

So for the upcoming year, and hopefully well beyond, I'm going to try and affirm these desires of the heart and hopefully avoid the moments of regret.  It is my hope that such decisions will lead to a life looking forward to the future, as opposed to peering backward to the past at what could have been.